Breaking Down

It is a fact of life that no matter how much you love what you do that if you take on too much or get your priorities out of whack you will eventually break down.

The other day I was shown something that really triggered me.  It is really simple in theory, but potentially really emotionally unsettling.  It goes like this....

Your priorities of relationships are supposed to go like this:
1.) Your relationship with your Creator
2.) Your relationship with yourself
3.) Your relationship with your family
     a. Spouse
     b. Children
4.) Your relationship with everyone else
5.) Your relationship with objects

After hearing this list, at first I was okay.  It seems simple enough.  One allows you the ability to have the next and so on.  But then the thoughts started to build in my subconscious.  What if I'm not in balance?  What if I want more priority with one?  And is time and priority are not the same then how do I strengthen one?  And if I want to strengthen one does that come from strengthening the ones above it or from giving less to the ones underneath?  And why is this ANOTHER reminder that I tend to skip right over #2 and then wonder why I end up feeling overworked and depressed and stop doing anything except the essentials (like taking care of my son)?!?!

AND, my digestive issues flared up again.........

THEN, my husband is into emotions having physical manifestations and wanted me to find out what emotion could cause a flare up of digestive issues.....

SO, I googled it....

Normally I love to look things up and learn, but this time I found out that stress and anxiety manifest in the digestive tract.  And I lost it.  Something about reading that along with actually feeling stress and anxiety about a few different things made me totally loose it.  I cried and cried.  And it was one of those thing where all the emotions that were hiding come spilling out and it really can't be stopped until it's done.  The next day I was still feeling kind of raw.  But, taking care of my son makes me feel better.  He is awesome and makes my days where it is just the two of us awesome.

Do you ever do that (hold it all in and then breakdown)?  I think it is a woman condition that potentially gets worse when children are introduced into the picture because it just adds one more relationship to prioritize.  And we all have moments in our lives that we feel so altruistic thinking that we are a better mother and a better wife and a better woman if we skip ourselves and take care of everyone else.  (Side note: Please try to not skip yourselves completely.... People will appreciate it if you at least take a shower.  On the other hand, figuring out the balance is better than skipping yourself at all.)  So we all develop coping mechanisms that help us when the emotions break (mine is usually crying).

But, I can't help but wonder if we would all function better if we could balance the priorities better.  Like when I make sure to do my hair and look cute after taking a shower because I feel better then (even if it means having my son watch me do my hair).  Then I at least feel good about myself instead of adding that into the emotional fix.  It just might help.

Unless Aunt Flo is coming, then you might just be out of luck.