Anxiety--Don't Quit!

So it's been two weeks since my last post.  In many ways a kind of long and hard two weeks.

But now I think I am ready to write the post that has been brewing inside of me for two weeks and I have been putting off writing.  I want to talk about something that I believe all moms go through at some point in their "career" of being a mom.  Let's discuss ANXIETY for a moment.

Anxiety is one of those weird things that some people hardly struggle with and others are almost debilitated by.  I know people that have to take medication for anxiety because they just can't function.  Others have periods of their lives that have more anxiety than others.  And yet others have random moments in their lives that are punctuated by slight situation anxiety.  Several years ago a developed slight anxiety attacks at the sight of a police officer.  Prior to this period of time I had never been pulled over by a police office and had never been part of an accident where a police officer was called.  Then in the period of about 8 months I was pulled over twice, in two accidents, and saw someone I knew get arrested for a minor offense.  All of the sudden the anxiety came.  It made driving a little interesting when the sight of a police officer would cause my chest to tighten and it became hard to breathe.

With all the forms of anxiety out there I would like to focus a little on the anxiety that comes with being a mom.  Mommy anxiety can come at any time in a child's life and for almost any reason.  Let's face it, in most instances, the child grew inside of you so you are very attached to him or her.  So facing leaving a child, a night where a child doesn't come home on time, a serious illness, and many other things would naturally cause some anxiety.  And it gets worse if you watch the news.  There are so many crimes committed involving children that it seems only natural that anxiety could grow just based on watching the news.

So recently I had the opportunity to go to an awesome seminar.  But here's the catch.  Children are not supposed to come.......

Oh......

Having never left my son for more than a couple hours, the idea of leaving him for a whole day was suddenly unbearable.  The anxiety was terrible and I became emotional combining the anxiety with the stress of several other things I am trying to figure out/accomplish right now.  My son sometimes refuses to eat from a bottle if I am not home, I really don't like it if he cries himself to sleep, and really can I trust someone to take care of him that long?  Let's face the facts.  He's a momma's boy in a lot of ways.  So how could I just drop him off somewhere and leave him for an entire day and then proceed to come home from the conference and go to work and not see him at night?

But on the other hand, how could I not go?  The seminar was for some investments that we are looking into.  My husband really wanted me to come and I need to support him.  So I forced myself to go.  I left him with my mother-in-law and headed out.  I cried on the way to the seminar.

But at the seminar I saw this video clip:




I'm going to be honest.... I cried again.  So many things are mind games!  I can do so much more than I think I can!  I can push through the anxiety and do things that are right.  I still think that my son needs to be with his parents the majority of the time, but when anxiety arises I can push through and do the right thing (whatever that is for the situation).

I have to remember that I once lost 40 lbs in 4 months mostly exercising.  At the end of the four months I could do squat-presses while standing on an exercise ball and one armed push-ups.  I am amazing.  YOU are amazing!  We can push through almost anything further than we think we can.  We just have to find the right frame of mind, tools, and support system.  We need to find our own blindfold.

The end of the story is my son is fine.  He didn't eat as much as he should have but he is fine.  My husband graciously let me cry and supported me as I figured out how to push through.  It is okay.  I am okay.

Note: If you suffer from a serious form of anxiety please push through by talking to your doctor.